Stark Raving

My daughter is nuts. Stark raving.

This is a typical conversation with my 4 year old daughter:

Safari: "Do dolphins eat flowers?"

Me: "I don't really think so hon"

Safari: "But, do they?"

Me: "Eat flowers?"

Safari (now visibly annoyed): "yesssss..."

Me: "I don't think there are many flowers in the ocean"

Safari: "But, do they EAT them?"

Me: "I don't think I really know what Dolphins eat, maybe small fish, I don't know - I can google it?"

Safari (I can now see her tiny little blood pressure rising)  "DO. they. EAT .... FLOWERS?"

Me: "yes?"

Safari *big sigh* "okay then ...."

I feel like I just dodged a friggen land mine ......

Safari: "What kind of flowers do they eat?"

.......oh crap  ......

Me: "Roses?"

Safari: "MOM .... Dolphins can't EAT ROSES! Roses have POKEY THINGS"

Me: "Tulips?"

Safari: "do tulips have pokey things?"

Me: "No"

Safari: "okay then"

I find myself, giving up, and just saying "Safari - what do you want me to say?" Someday ..... someone is going to have to marry this girl ..... and yes ..... I mean "HAVE to".  She will decide who she is marrying and he will have no choice.  He would have to be a master negotiator to get out of it.  He'll be screwed.

Safari "Momma, can I take the ipad to bed with me?"

Me: "No hon, you need to get to sleep"

Safari "If I go to bed right now - can I take it"

Me: "You ARE going to bed right now anyway"

Safari "so I can take the ipad?"

Me: "no"

Safari "But, CAN I take the IPAD?"

....... Go ask your Dad ..... he wanted a girl .......