Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Happy New Year

New Years resolution time.  New Years resolutions can change your life. And I do mean yours - my life is fine.


I thought about making a resolution this year - and even went as far as deciding what it should be.  My ipod wouldn't work at the gym - so I had to do something to entertain myself while peddling the bike that goes nowhere.

Here it is: To be more domestic. 

What does that mean?

I have no idea. Probably why I suck at it in the first place.  I thought I should try things like:
  • Work harder at meal times.  Make it more interesting. Plan ahead better.  Or make a plan at all. 
  • Try harder to keep on top of the laundry.  Or at the very least not wait until EVERYONE is out of underwear before doing a load ..... of underwear ..... and the exact number of pairs of pants left in the school week.
  • Try to keep the house tidier.  Commit more time to the domestic crap.
I EVEN came up with an acronym for my new domestic resoluted self:  M.E.L.T.

What can I say, I was on the bike that goes nowhere for an hour. M - Meals, E - Exercise, L - Laundry and T - Tidy.  NICE right?  I just threw the E in there because I needed a vowel - so I picked something I already do.  Resoluting feels good.

Riiiight. Why don't I just resolve to find Big Foot.  He's probably right here in this house under a heap of laundry anyway.

You know those people that say things like "drop by anytime." So you do. And their house is clean - every. friggen. time.  I secretly want to be one of those people.  But - that's not going to happen.  I'm sorry - you need to call before you come over or you risk the strong possibility of being shocked and dismayed. 

I blame my mother.  That's what your supposed to do right?  Anyway - it really is her fault - she had this ridiculous - "let kids be kids" attitude when we were growing up - that wore off on me a little. For example - I let my kids play with moon sand. Or play dough. Or both at the same time. In the living room.
I KNOW!!! What kind of idiot DOES that!! 

At this VERY moment there is a Cinderella doll all taped up to a "hospital machine" (purple chair) - in the middle of the living room - and she has to stay there for 10 days. The doctor TOLD Safari that she needed to stay in the hospital (aka - middle of the living room floor) for 10 days ..... and I agreed to that crap. The IMAGINARY doctor SAID SO!!!

My brother and sister-in-law gave my daughter a hair dryer that blows GLITTER for Christmas last year. I let her use it wherever, whenever - unsupervised. Then the batteries died. I CHANGED them for her.  I am not well mentally.

Obviously when you let thing get out of control - like I have - switching to domestic goddess is going to take some time.  Which is fine. You can't very well vacuum with a sick Cinderella in the living room - so I have another 10 days anyway.

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